Leaving NYC was an exercise is packing light. As in, I wish I had remembered to pack light.

Heading out of New York, I arrived at the JFK airport feeling pretty good — I had plenty of time to check in, my accessories were well contained (read my overview of the luggage I was traveling with), and I even had a snack packed for dinner later.

The airline ticket I was flying on was super, super economy. It didn’t include such luxuries as “food” or “water” or “toilet paper.”

Ok, kidding about that last one — they probably had toilet paper. But no joke about the food and drink — it was BYOB unless you wanted to buy overpriced water bottles on the plane.

Needless to say, my ticket did not include a checked bag. It included one carry-on item with very specific size requirements, and one “personal item” like a purse (a purse-onal item, if you will). Combined, the carry-on and personal item couldn’t exceed 10kgs. Anything over that, and the airline required that I check my bag.

Well, I had made sure my bookbag fit the right size limits…but had forgotten about the weight requirements. 10kgs is 22lbs, and I figured that there was no way I could schlep that weight around NYC without being exhausted. Turns out I was schlepping 13kgs (I’m so sorry, shoulders and back). I discovered that the airport check-in counter, and as the agent explained that I would need to check my bag, I explained that whoops, I had forgotten to organize my bag, and I just needed a few minutes to step out of line to get that organization done, I’ll be right back ok?

Out of line, I pondered the problem — an extra 3kgs of weight, standing between me and an excessive baggage fee. So I did what any sane person would do — somehow managed to redistribute over 6lbs of extra bits and pieces onto my person. For those interested at home, here’s a quick breakdown:

(Warning: this was an extremely silly way to do things. For any official Norwegian airlines employees — hi, and sorry I’m the fly in your airline ointment.)

  • Removed my jacket and scarf from my bookbag and bundled them onto myself, instead
  • Filled jacket pockets with the heaviest items, including my external hard drive, iPad mini, and wallet
  • Stuck my paperback (Last Chance to See by Douglas Adams, highly recommend reading!) in my back pocket
  • Stashed a couple “heavy” items (deck of cards, a large flashlight) in my pants pockets

…so yeah, in sum I looked a bit like Pippi Longstockings (to quote a friend who got the full rundown after I got through security).

Sidenote for anybody unfamiliar with Pippi: she’s a mostly-parentless child who raises herself in an abandoned house, living with her monkey and horse companions. So…it’s not an entirely flattering way to be described.

As soon as I had checked in at the ticket counter, received my boarding pass, and rounded the corner out of eyesight of the ticket agent, I immediately un-loaded my pockets and re-loaded my backpack with all of the above odds-and-ends. Not a particularly recommended way to travel, but in this case — it worked.

At least, it worked as far as Stockholm, where I was connecting to Berlin. To be continued…

Lessons Learned

Give yourself plenty of time at the airport, to strategize ways to beat the luggage system. Or, you know, weigh your luggage beforehand and don’t cause undue stress.

Language Notes

None. For the same of decency, I can’t print here what I was thinking when I realized that I was way over the luggage weight limit.