When I was planning my days in Mexico City, the name “Teotihuacan” kept coming up as a recommended side adventure. Promising pyramids and archaeological ruins, it seemed like an interesting destination. I planned a day trip to visit this site…and it. Was. AMAZING.

Some background:

Named by the Aztecs, Teotihuacan means “the place of the gods.” It was established between 100 BCE – 250 CE after an apocalyptic volcano eruption forced people to resettle. In a fun twist, they used volcanic rock to build their own human volcanos — pyramids.

Excavations have found that it was originally painted in vivid hues of red (imagine that when viewing these photos). It’s a city of contradictions — on the one hand, it was hugely powerful, attracted tons of immigrants, and was the only Mesoamerican city to have permanent built residences for ordinary citizens. But far from being a peaceful utopia, excavators have also covered TONS of evidence of human sacrifice (spoiler alert: skeleton photo coming up soon).

The city collapsed after 550 CE and was largely unexcavated until the early 20th century. Today, it’s one of the most popular archaeological sites in Mexico…for good reason. I mean, who can argue with this view from the Pyramid of the Moon.

Your truly. One of many, many photos that I asked strangers to take for me. They were all very obliging (or just frightened by my enthusiasm).

The pyramid steps are no joke. Steep, slick, and very much requiring these handrails.

Pano showing the full plaza in front of the Pyramid of the Moon, with the Avenue of the Dead stretching into the distance.

The Pyramid of the Sun is the most renowned structure. Doesn’t look too high, does it? Well, that is an ILLUSION. It is massively tall and has several (very necessary) resting platforms for climbers.

View from the top.

Carvings from yet another pyramid, the Pyramid of the Feathered Serpent.

There are several museums in the area housing original murals and excavated artifacts…like these skeletons, buried while casually wearing MANDIBLE NECKLACES.

How many structures are there? So many structures. Enough to fill four hours of solid walking.

One of my favvys — an unexpected glimpse of how the workers clean the outsides of the pyramid. Two workers stretch a rope between them, then whip it back and forth across the pyramid surfaces to remove weeds and debris.

To understand the full experience of tromping around the ruins, bear in mind that the entire site — all 32 square miles — is continually echoing with the trills of exotic birds, strains of eerie music, and even the roars of jaguars.

No, not because there are actual jaguars (at least none that I saw).

In lieu of selling actual animals, vendors throughout the site sell clever whistles that sound like roars and birdsongs. Visiting kids loved these whistles and were playing them throughout the site. This vendor demonstrated the whistles and requested to not have his face in the video:

Now it may look like my day was all beautiful weather and basking in the rays of the sun. But, there is one important caveat that cannot be ignored……….I am pale. So, so pale.

And the Mexican sun is so, so strong.

As a result, my visit to Teotihuacan (as with basically any outdoor site in Mexico) was rife with anti-sun accessories. The camera may show nice views…but behind the lens, I was swaddled in sun protection.

Sunscreen? Yes.
Hat? Of course.
Sunglasses? Definitely.
Dorky umbrella? Why yes, indeed.

For being a super obvi tourist, I was still hesitant to join a group tour at Teotihuacan. Usually when I’m traveling, I avoid big groups……I want to walk on my own, click my camera at my own pace, and be an overt tourist in solitude.

But I also want to know what I’m looking at and the history of the site.

So what to do? Books are heavy and not always available. Audio guides are great, but again — not always available.

Enter my new (moderately silly) solution…the DIY audio guide. Steps below are modified to make sure nobody mistakenly thinks I would ever pilfer YouTube for lectures.

Step 1. Find a lecture/documentary on YouTube about wherever you’re visiting.

Step 2. Definitely do not, I repeat DO NOT, convert that video into an audio track.

Step 3. Double definitely DO NOT put that audio track on your phone for easy listening as you wander around massive ruins, soaking up tons of history and enjoying your peace and quiet, unfettered by a group tour of fellow gawkers.